When I first started writing critically about drug testing in 2005 it was like shooting fish in a barrel. During the second Bush Administration workplace drug tests prospered mightily under federal grants even though the technology was so flawed that the tests were beaten with breathtaking ease. Everything worked. The drug warriors didn’t have a clue. Dilutions. Spikes. Additives. Daily detoxes and a quick flushes. Back then there were no Specimen Verification Tests to catch you with your pants down, and a urine sample coming back as a dilute was a rare thing indeed. We used to say it was really an intelligence test: if you couldn’t pass your drug test, you were probably too stupid to get the job.
Those days are gone. Urinalysis has reportedly become more reliable, and the drug test companies have a whole new cash flow streaming in from the verification tests. Nowadays to beat a urinalysis, you have to be smart.
When I recently returned to writing about drug testing, I discovered that these days they credibly test for spikes and additives. These days they can find the dilutes. It seemed to me that substitution – the time honored practice of switching clean pee for dirty urine – was the only game left on the table, and I was right. “While people have long tried to cheat drug exams with an array of creative methods,” the Washington Post recently reported, “authorities say synthetic urine has become the new go-to trick.”
Well, it’s hardly a new trick. I have friends who have been secreting their straight friend’s piss in latex condoms for decades, but that may be a little too DIY for today’s drug test professionals.
Dr. Barry Sample, the Director of Science and Technology for the Employer Solutions business unit of Quest Diagnostics, recently revealed in a corporate blog that “There is no industry consensus or regulatory standard for classifying a urine specimen as ‘synthetic’ or ‘substituted’… If synthetic urine can be successfully substituted for real urine in the privacy of the collection site restroom… there is often little that can be done.”
The drug warriors took notice. Over the years at least 18 states have passed some kind of laws attempting to ban synthetic urine but theses are wildly inconsistent and hard to fully enforce. This year a synthetic urine ban passed the Mississippi House but the bill was stalled in committee on its way to the senate floor. Last year Indiana passed a law that made it illegal to sell synthetic urine within the state but did not prohibit people from purchasing the product online.
Quality will always be an issue. Good quality synthetic urine will have the appearance of piss and should be presented at the proper temperature with all the major elements that are found in natural pee like creatinine, uric acid, phosphates, ammonia and sulphates. It should be free of disease but not treated with a biocide that, like adulterants, can be detected.
With all those moving parts in mind, I strongly recommended that you use a synthetic urine substitution method to pass your urine test, and I can personally recommend a quality synthetic urine you can buy here.
Take a few minutes to practice before you go in for your test. Practice will be your friend. And try to relax. Remember what the big-time drug test expert said: Once you’re in the stall, there’s not a damn thing they can do.
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